It's funny-we all watch Sex and the City, and those girls can do anything they want with guys, and no one says anything about them. But of course, in real life, that's just not the case. And if you're the new girl, then there's double the scrutiny.

Let's focus for a second less on what people are saying about you and more on why you were with those guys. Did you hook up with them because you're new and you wanted to fit in? Sometimes, girls have a tendency to want to get over their feelings of loneliness or sense of not belonging by getting physical with guys (ahem-let's just say that I've been there). It feels like the quickest and most intense way to feel connected to someone. But unfortunately, it's never a real or lasting connection-nothing physical really is.

Well, you can't change what you've already done or what people are saying about you right now (don't even try-you'll just get upset and frustrated). What you do have control over is every- thing you do from this minute on.
Here's what I think you should do: Hold off on fooling around with anyone. Spend the rest of your school year getting to know your classmates as people-the girls and the guys. Strike up a conversation with anyone you think you can relate to (talk about the things you have in common, like a class). And remember, don't just talk to guys-meet girls too. What you need right now are friends and allies. It does take longer to build real relationships this way, but you'll be building ones with really solid foundations. With friendships like that, you'll feel more secure because you'll know that they like you for you. And little by little, you'll find that everyone will know that you're a lot more than a stupid label. But in order for them to realize that, you need to show them all those other sides of yourself that we both know are there and are so amazing!

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